Tuesday, March 29, 2005
All the time, I am afraid of being raped. Imagine if my only experience with sex ever in my life was a violent one. Imagine if after “saving myself” for 34 years for someone who loves me enough to marry me if I was violated by someone who was just helping himself. I think they would have to institutionalize me. Always, I am careful of where I park my car and where I walk alone at night. Always, I am aware of where my drinks have been and never get into an empty elevator in a building which might have a closed floor. Always, when I come home, I have my key ready and am aware if a strange person is following me into the building. When I stay in a hotel I never walk to my room if a stranger is behind me. It is a little bit obsessive I think. When your virginity is all you have, you guard it carefully.