So Close Yet So Far
He is not religious enough for me. He does not keep Shabbos. He does not keep kosher. He certainly is not S.N. He is just a friendly, handsome, Jewish man. I wish I could date him but I cannot or at least that is what I am trying to remember. If he said he wanted to date me, I do not know what I would do. I could not marry him.
We joke around. We make small talk. Then we say goodbye and I do not see him for a few weeks.
He does not know that every time we are talking, I am thinking about what he would look like with his shirt off, and his wrists crossed over his head, handcuffed to my bedpost.
When I see him it is like someone waving a hot meal under the nose of a starving person, and then taking it away. Would it be better never to see him or other men I am attracted to, if for one reason or another I cannot date them? At least when I see them and think my thoughts, I am remembering that I am a woman.