Response to comments and e-mails
Please in the future: Instead of calling yourself Anonymous please give yourself a pseudonym of some kind so it will be easier to differentiate between the comments. When posting click on “Other” rather than “Anonymous” in order to do it that way.
Many of the comments have been very helpful and have given me chizzuk. I appreciate all the wishes that I soon find my bashert. From your computer to G-d's ears. Thanks especially to the many women who have written here or by email to tell me they relate to my words and have also been completely S.N. for many years despite their sexual appetites. It is good to know I am not alone. It worries me that there have been so few of such comments but even if we are a small group it is good to have a sisterhood. Also I was very moved by the comments to the post about the biological clock. I hope we all find a way to be happy soon. And to the men who have been S.N. or are trying hard to be: yasher kochachem, and may Hashem give you strength as well.
Thank you also to the woman who in response to the last post about taharas hamishpacha told me that TH is easier in her experience than being S.N. Your comment that being S.N. is a "gnawing desperate hopeless hunger" showed me that you truly understand and your message gave me hope, maybe just because I am so relieved that a married person really understands. Also thank you to Rabbi’s Kid for the brachah that "you find a guy and the sex is so good that he tires you out for 10-14 days a month". Your comment made me laugh because yes that is exactly what I am hoping for! Whoever my bashert is I hope he goes to the gym often because he will need good cardiovascular health for what I have planned for him! :-)
Some of the comments are well meaning but just go to show that when Hashem was distributing the gift of logical reasoning he was more generous to some than to others. V’hamayvin yavin. I say this because I want you to know that I am not blindly following any advice that is put in the comments. In particular I think I have to say that one thing I have realized by writing this blog is that getting hugs and kisses let alone sex from a man I do not know well would not make me happy. I am too sensitive to touch now and it will be my first kiss. It will mean too much to me and certainly it would mean more to me than it does to him if he has not also always been S.N. The goal is to find a relationship not to stop being S.N. with someone who does not really care about me. My threshhold of how long we have to be dating may be lower than it used to be perhaps but I still have some standards.
To all the people who have written to offer to set me up or have asked me out yourselves: I will think about each offer and see what I decide. There may be cases where I never contact you but please do not take it personally. There are many reasons that I might not contact you which I cannot explain for reasons of anonymity. For example one person wrote offering to set me up with a man who I already know.
To the man who sent me an email warning me that there are men who might try to take advantage of the vulnerability I express here on the blog, and try to weasel their way into dating me in order to take advantage of my sexual frustration and emotional vulnerability: Thank you very much for your concern and your warning. It is one reason I am being especially careful about which emails I respond to. If I do date anyone I have met directly or indirectly through this blog somehow I will have all my alert systems on!
Speaking of alert systems: To the person who wrote to me with twisted “halachic” reasons that premarital sex is preferable to being shomer negiah and suggesting that I become a pilegesh (concubine) – you are a sick and vile person. Go prey on someone who might fall for it because I certainly will not. You are a vile snake.
Yes I am very happy to date baalei teshuva.
No I did not attend Bais Yaakov. Far from it.