Sunday, December 03, 2006

Yes I am OK

I have received so many emails from people asking what has become of me and they hope I am OK. It is nice to know that even through an anonymous blog there are so many people in the world who care about me. The reason I have not updated this blog is simply because there is nothing new to write. Yes I have been in Israel now for a few months and that is going well. I am making new friends and love being in Eretz Yisrael so very much. And since I am new here I have had more dating activity than what I am used to. I guess there is a pool of men in any particular place and when a new woman moves to town there is a period of lots of possibilities. New people to meet on websites, new events to attend, new shadchanim to use. Just like in America not every offer and not every man who reads my online profile turns into an actual date, but it is nice to be in a new place meeting new people.

However I have not had more than 2 dates with any one man, and so there is nothing substantial to write about on this blog. I have not had a new relationship. Sometimes I am OK with that and sometimes I feel very sad. Sometimes I feel terribly terribly sexually frustrated and sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I am terribly lonely and sometimes I feel OK. Sometimes I blame it all on my weight and sometimes I am more philosophical about being single.

I can say that the memories of the one time I kissed someone more than a year ago are both fading and still meaningful. For a while the experience uplifted me and helped me. Now, it is becoming more and more of a non-issue. It is something that I did a long time ago and I am grateful that it happened because as sad as I sometimes feel without that memory I would be much much sadder. It has not changed my views about halacha. I know that I am willing to make very big sacrifices for halacha and also I know that sometimes people reach their limit and thoughts of suicide is an indication of the limit! I do not think about it so much any more. Maybe because I moved to a different country. Every day is a chance to be a different person and I am too busy thinking about where I am now and where I want to be to dwell too much on an event from a year ago. Except that I think about it when I decide to feel sorry for myself, I think about how little one kissing date is to go on for more than a year.

Anyway there is one small piece of news which is that someone contacted me about using material from this blog for a theatrical monologue. I gave her permission under certain conditions. So now the blog is a dance and it will also be theater. Who could have seen that being Shomer Negiah would lead to so many multimedia creations?

I do not think I will post again for a long time since as you see I do not want to post unless there is something new to say. Who knows when that will be? I have been thinking about making this blog into my feelings about being overweight but I am not ready. Being overweight is a reason for a “primal scream” all by itself but I am not ready to do it. Maybe in a few months, who knows.

Until then thank you for caring about me and to all the people who wrote to me about their own substantial personal issues, I wish you happiness.

50 Comments:

Anonymous annabel lee said...

It's so nice to hear from you, and I'm so glad you're OK. And I'm glad that being in Eretz Yisrael is going well for you. Best of luck in finding what you seek.

12/03/2006 03:13:00 PM  
Blogger Tzemach Atlas said...

May you be happy, always!

12/03/2006 05:07:00 PM  
Blogger Esther Kustanowitz said...

What AL said...we're thinking of you, and for what it's worth, going on dates that aren't much of anything are par for the dating course, no matter what country you're in. Stay positive, or as positive as you can under the circumstances, and things will get better...

May Israel be an inspiration to you.

12/03/2006 06:32:00 PM  
Blogger Evenewra said...

I'm glad you're back, even if only for a brief "appearance." I had just started reading your blog when you disappeared. May your journal be fruitful, whether you blog about it or not.

12/03/2006 07:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thanks for updating us . best of luck and have a great hannukah.

12/03/2006 10:41:00 PM  
Blogger thefifthdaughter said...

y'know, part of what i've always liked about your blog was its relate-ability. you mention things tht we all think/feel and there's a comfort in that.

you wrote: "It is something that I did a long time ago and I am grateful that it happened because as sad as I sometimes feel without that memory I would be much much sadder." there's a certain memory that plagues me too in the same way that yours does. i'm so happy i have that memory but that also makes me miss it terribly... and then i also feel guilty about it cuz it wasn't something to be proud of but it brought me so much joy...

anyway, i'm glad you dropped a line. i hope you find the happiness you're seeking. i'm glad you made it to eretz yisrael and that thiings are going well (that is quite a rarity, you should know). may you have many good reasons to post...

12/04/2006 04:03:00 AM  
Blogger Halfnutcase said...

As they say, a different place a different mazel. May this one be much better than the one before.

12/04/2006 12:40:00 PM  
Blogger Ahuva said...

Thanks for letting us know that you're okay. When you have something to write, we'll be here to read it. Best of luck with everything!

12/04/2006 01:01:00 PM  
Blogger littlejerseygirl said...

Thank you so much for letting us know that you are ok. I think about you often and wish you all the best.

12/04/2006 02:34:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

NJG: I'm so glad to read your update. A forum about weight would be really nice. Perhaps a new blog with multiple posters. I would post.

A few of my observations about weight and dating. I've been everywhere between the low end of obese to right in the middle of normal.

1. When overweight, I have many good first dates which don't turn into second dates. The mark of a date which doesn't go anywhere because of weight is where we get along super well and match up in all the expected ways, but they never call again --- what else could it be?

2. Losing just 7-10 lbs transformed how people treated me, to the point of even being a bit scary because I wasn't used to the attention: men were suddenly more chivalrous and they also stared. When slim, I felt self-conscious about even the positive attention because I don't expect people to treat me so extremely well.

3. A lifetime of being overweight gave me low expectations for how others would treat me. It took me a long time to realize that I should react if men treat me poorly (substantial delay between calls, arriving late, not offering to pay for me, making me come up with the plan for the date, answering their cell phone while on the date), perhaps cutting a date short. Even after realizing this, I feel incredibly chutzpahdik to implement it, and I'm not actually sure what to do.

4. Men have body issues in their own dating if they are obese or below 5'6" and skinny. These guys are really much kinder and I've noticed are also more likely to be interested in me. It's as if there is some kind of implicit hierarchy, even for the highly educated: plump women can date skinny/short guys or obese men, but it's a reach to do better than that.

5. Being overweight gave me lower expectations for who I could date: I almost expect anyone I date to have something wrong with them. It seems impossible that someone normal, good-looking, and smart would like me.

6. Losing weight gave me so much confidence, which didn't go away even after I regained some of it. I had been the same weight or much higher since I was 18, more than a decade earlier, and I was literally not aware that it was possible. Reading about other people's experiences feels so removed because I was convinced that they must have had some skill or feature that I lacked.

7. Weight is such a deeply felt issue for me that I once fell for a guy because we had both lost weight and felt similarly about the many psychological issues. He said that losing weight was all about the confidence, and he realized that it was his confidence which was the problem all along. It's like one of those Wizard of Oz moments: you had the tools all along to go home, but just needed to activate them.

12/04/2006 03:04:00 PM  
Blogger HaJew said...

I pray for you, please pray for me.

12/04/2006 03:14:00 PM  
Anonymous mike said...

I have been following your blog for quite a while, and I am glad that you "checked in". I wanted to add my wishes for you that you should find happiness in all that you do. You really seem to be a remarkable person.

12/04/2006 06:07:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good for you--it sounds like you're doing pretty well, all things considered. Believe me, I know that weight is no joke, so I don't mean to trivialize, but one of the bonuses of Israel is that it's easy to walk more! Enjoy your new start...

12/05/2006 05:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I ran across your blog for the very first time tonight, while lying awake alone at 3am. What a comfort to know I'm not alone in my standards and frustrations! I too am approaching "a certain age" and have never been kissed, never even held hands... for religious reasons.

I feel I've been traveling in sort of the same direction as you. It used to matter a great deal to me to not have physical contact of any kind with anyone but my (future) husband, but I'm not so sure anymore what that would accomplish. What if I never get married? Will I at age 80 be glad that I never knew what a man's lips felt like? There's some philosophical beauty to be found in perpetual virginity... but not, so far as I can tell, in kisslessness.

I had my first real boyfriend for a whole month last summer, but as it turned out, he wasn't worth kissing. Even though ex-boyfriend #1 didn't work out, I have decided that I will take advantage of my next opportunity to kiss someone I care about... even if we aren't married, or engaged, or even seriously courting. And I don't think there is any guilt to be had in that.

By the way, I'm devout Christian, not Jewish, but I love the fact that there's a word for my physical state (shomer negiah).

Grace and peace to you.

12/06/2006 04:08:00 AM  
Anonymous a person said...

Hi,

You know, I just saw your blog for the first time yesterday and I've read quite a lot of it beginning with your very first post. I am currently at a point in my Judaism where I feel that my commitment to G-d is being ripped apart at the seams by the trials of this life. I am trying to find some middle ground which allows me to validate that process while at the same time not just totally giving in and creating a fragmentation and disintigration of every part of my life. Your choices are much more thought out than mine and I appreciate that. If I tried to lend some bit of wisdom or direction then we both know I'd be a liar, so my point I guess is to say that I appreciate what you're doing here with the blog.

12/06/2006 11:21:00 PM  
Anonymous sara said...

Thanks for 'checking' in. Glad to hear you are doing well! Best of luck and please update us- hopefully with good news ;)

12/10/2006 06:16:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so glad you updated your blog. I have been wondering about you for a long time.
I just wanted to comment on what you said about writing about being overweight- just like negiah was before you addressed it, being overweight is something that most people do not understand. I was very overweight for a long time, and there were some days when I did not want to wake up in the morning. There were times I avoided family or social gatherings because I simply could not find something in my closet that made me feel comfortable being seen. Shopping in different stores, not fitting in an airplane seat, wondering if the buckle on an amusement park ride will close on you- these are things that only significanly overweight (I have no idea whether you are or not) people even think about. I am no longer overweight, but I carry those years of pain with me.

I definitely think there are a lot of women and girls out there who would benefit greatly from knowing there is someone else out there who knows how they feel.

12/10/2006 06:46:00 PM  
Anonymous AM walker said...

Hi,

I'm also in E"Y currently, and just started walking in the AM's with a friend of mine..
I don't see any contact email for you, but if you're interested in joining us, it'd be great to have more conversation topics as we pound (er- slowly walk) the streets..

12/17/2006 10:28:00 PM  
Blogger Shmilda said...

It's great to hear that you are ok, even if there is not much news to report. Just making aliyah is itself a big accomplishment, and you should take comfort in knowing that you have successfully done it.

And thanks for leaving your blog up - it's truly inspiring.

12/22/2006 11:00:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just chanced upon your blog and I noticed the probably obvious decor- white on black. I understand that you probably want it to reflect how you are feeling- but it really is quite depressing! I am not trying to downplay singlehood- it really sucks- bad! But i think that if your blog decor was a bit more cheerful, you might actually get uplifted- as well as others- just when they see the page.

12/22/2006 11:02:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd just like to say that I admire your courage to share these feelings so openly.I stumbled across your site as I serched for information on breaking of the hymen.The feelings you describe,your anxieties and worries are ones which are shared by women from many religions that teach this principle of remaining a virgin until marriage.I'm pleased that we can share this subject together,it shows that there are many things religions have in common,it is a shame that we choose to focus on the differences.
I read with interest how you question whether you would have remained as strong had you been luckier in love-perhaps you would have found it harder to resist the temptation.Perhaps even the request to remain a virgin until marriage goes against human nature.It could be that in the olden religious days it was so much easier to find a partner and marry and that girls married so young,so remaining a virgin was easier...in this day and age it is more difficult to find a match and we do not live in those times anymore....should we take this into consideration?
I wish you luck in your search,you have shone as a sincere,decent human being.Bestwishes

12/26/2006 06:32:00 PM  
Anonymous kelyantar said...

So glad that you are ok...thanks for updating. I had a similar experience coming to Jerusalem last year...lots of dates, very few that meant anything. It can get very discouraging--to say the least--but it sounds like you have a great approach. Good luck with everything.

1/08/2007 07:19:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

glad to read you're ok.

1) change the blog colour to bright pink
2) choose a friend and start playing squash (for no reason other than its fun)
3) start israeli dancing (not the frum stuff, the israeli stuff) - good fun, nice people, great workout

4) I say all this as an avid fan. bon chance.

1/08/2007 02:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi. I have just read a large portion of your blog. Let me say that as someone who is frum (went to yeshiva, continue to learn) and happily married for a long time, I entirely empathize with you.
Throughout my dating "career," I went through SN non-SN periods, racked by guilt when I wasn't careful, extremely frustrated at other times (although usually proud of my restraint).
At times I would promise myself that I would not transgress again, only to end up doing it. The sexual urge is so powerful! With frum Jews getting married later and later, and with the influence of the culture around us also a factor, it is just so hard to be fully shomer negiah.
So here is how I look at it: Do I regret not being shomer negiah? Yes, but hindsight is 20-20. Overpowering feelings are in the here and now. When I was in the yichud room with my wife, did I have regrets that it was not our first kiss? Yes, even there!
So I wish you strength. I hope you find your bashert very soon. I understand absolutely how you feel, because I was there too. And keep in mind one thing: for women, it's in the kiss. For guys, it's never enough. There is always the next thing, the next move. That's how it was for us. And while we didn't have relations before marriage (we're not nuts!), we did a lot of things of which I am not proud. And it usually was instigated by me.
Again, I wish you much hatzlachah.

1/09/2007 07:01:00 PM  
Blogger Rivka said...

It's good to hear you are doing well. I found your blog through your post on depression and I could relate to many of the feelings you wrote. I'm married, so being single/SN isn't so much an issue for me as clinical depression itself, which is what I write about. Thank you for posting information for people who are feeling depressed. May we all get the help and support we need.

1/29/2007 12:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

chag kasher v'sameach. hope you are doing well.

4/02/2007 07:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Paul Tubiana said...

I am a 32 year old man.
I am still a virgin.
I am celibate.
I am Shomer Negiah.
I have never been in a relationship with anyone.
I have never kissed a woman.
I have never held hands with a woman.

I am looking for someone who shares these above values.
She should be:
Spiritual
Simple
Good-hearted
Kind
Caring
Loving
Warm
Quiet
Someone who likes to listen.
Not wear any make-up.
Not wear earrings and not have pierced ears.
No Tatoos or body piercings (I have to mention it).
She should be clean, no perfumes.
Her hair should be natural, long, and straight.
She is clean inside and out.
She is a virgin.
She is celibate.
She has never kissed a man.
She has never dated a man.
She has never been in a relationship with anyone.
She knows how to pray in her heart.
She loves children.
She seeks Love, Light, Truth, and Wisdom in everything she does.
etc.
She is my best friend and she will be my wife.

Good girls should be honored and respected. No man should be entitled to more than one woman in his lifetime. Any observant Jewish man that takes more than one woman for himself should be excommunicated as a Jew.

God bless all nice and good girls, they deserve the very best man as their husbands for life.

I have done my very best for the right person even if I never find her. I do not feel ashamed to put my name to this.

God bless you Nice Jewish Girl.

Paul Tubiana
Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Telephone: Six-Ten-Three-One-Seven-Twenty-Thirty.

4/04/2007 12:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

glad to hear you're doing well. I'm still thinking about you and keep you in my prayers. hopefully all of ours will be answered soon.

b,h,&e.

5/07/2007 12:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, I know it's been awhile since you have posted but I just wanted to say how amazing and beautiful your blog is, and how incredibly strong you are. I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you to be shomer at 35, after dating for 15 years. You are really so amazing. Human touch is so powerful and special. I am so sorry and you deserve to find your basheret. Halacha is all well and good, but I applaud you for kissing that man. It might not have been halachically "okay" but the world we live in is a cruel place. You wrote that "you have never felt as beautiful as you do right now" after that kiss, and that line really touched me. You deserve it. It's a beautiful feeling no woman should ever be without. I wish you all the best from the bottom of my heart.

5/28/2007 11:03:00 PM  
Blogger thejewishmafia said...

hey check out my blog, i think we may have alot in common, with us both bein' jewish 'n' all

i think you're fit and id kiss you anyday :)

you wanna go for a curry sometime??

write back please!

7/03/2007 09:24:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous (1/09/2007) -- Maybe if you're in you're a female in your 20s and have never done more than kissing, a kiss is enough, but I can assure you that once you've done more, it doesn't matter whether you're male or female, "just" kissing is never enough. (I'm a single frum female in my 30s.)

9/04/2007 02:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

have a good succos and may this year bring good news for us all.

b,h,&e

9/26/2007 02:30:00 PM  
Blogger JMNOR55 said...

How is life in Israel? Is it easier to be single in Israel than in the US (outside of NYC)?

10/19/2007 01:27:00 PM  
Blogger LakewoodShmuck said...

good luck

12/24/2007 01:40:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i hope you are doing OK...may god bless you

2/14/2008 09:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just wanted to say that your blog (although I was a little late in discovering it) opened my eyes to the constant pain singles are going through I do not know if you check this periodically or not but just wanted to thank you for giving me a senstivity I would not have had otherwise. I hope you are doing well in Eretz Yisroel and that happiness follows you in whaatever path you travel

2/19/2008 11:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, it's been more than a year, give us an update!

3/31/2008 11:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Being shomer negia is slowly killing me. I'm so upset I can't even cry. I hate being shomer negia and at the same time I know it's totally the right thing to do. I empathize with you, and I hope you're okay, considering you haven't posted anything in over 2 years.

-"M"

4/04/2008 08:57:00 AM  
Blogger Shmuel said...

I'm glad you are ok.
why don't you put google ad sense on your blog to make some money off it let me know if you need help

4/11/2008 02:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wish you'd update and let us know how you're doing, even if there's nothing to report :)

4/12/2008 01:04:00 PM  
Blogger DREXAR said...

I hope you are still feeling better than in your first blog. I apologize if I'm saying something that's either naive or already been said, as I have not read all of your blogs or all the comments, but first off let me say that I found your blog to be very sad, both for you and for the fact that if you are experiencing these feelings of sadness and frustration then countless other people are also. One thing to keep in mind is that finding the right person is hard no matter who you are. All that being said, I would like to offer something constructive: When I was reading your first blog I wondered to myself why it would be so difficult for you to find a suitable mate. You seem from what you write like someone who has a lot to offer intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. That left only one main trait - what you look like physically. Being a personal trainer, that is something I am used to thinking about all the time simply because it is my profession. Then I scrolled up to read your most recent blog and read that you are overweight. While there is certainly a difference between the kinds of men who you are searching for and the average man, there is always an aspect of physical attraction that must be present in order for any kind of potentially physical relationship to emerge. That is not to say that overweight people cannot find love and happiness, of course they can, but it's going to be much more difficult. Several well respected rabbis advocate becoming vegan since the Torah has so many places where it states the extreme importance of kindness and compassion towards animals, and being that the food industry is so full of animal cruelty that the only sensible thing for any Jew to do is to become a vegan. (here's a link to that website by the way: http://www.jewishveg.com/ja.html ). While that may not apply to you if all your food is super kosher and therefore the animals would have to be humanely treated and killed, the reason I mention it is that as a trainer I know that switching over to a vegan lifestyle will in addition to making it practically a breeze to keep kosher, will also facilitate weight loss with minimal effort. There's certainly nothing in the Torah or Talmud that prohibits becoming vegan. If you're searching for a more spiritual reason to lose weight, one kabbalah book states that dieting is a form of restriction and is more an expression of free will and creation (and thus more connected to The Light) than eating everything you want! (Eating everything we want is reactive, dieting is therefore resisting the reactive nature, and exercise is proactive). I hope this comment does not make you feel badly in any way and to state another kabbalah quote, "sometimes what we want is not what we need." You may "want" to find someone now, but perhaps what you "need" is to realign your physical lifestyle to create a better "you" who can then find the right person. Maybe he's out there frustrated as well and waiting for you to transform yourself physically and therefore spiritually so the two of you can meet and live happily ever after. I truly hope this comment helps.

7/24/2008 11:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey you should update this page, it has been two years! What's going on?

7/30/2008 08:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its been over 2 yrs. since your last post...we need updates! I just read your entire blog in one sitting & I have to say you're a truely amazing woman. You have so much strength & you don't even know it. Sometimes they say that's exactly what gives you the power...the not knowing.
Please write an update....even if its a short one. I'm sure I'm not the only reader wanting more.

30, Jewish, NY

9/19/2008 11:15:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Nice Jewish Girl,


I just read your first two posts and some of the comments. I don't know whether anyone else wrote this to you, but I just wanted to tell you my experience. I hope it helps.

Before getting married I felt exactly the same as you. Shomer Nigiah was so hard, it can't be described. The million and one details of it, too, not just the raw sexual need but the little things, the walks in the park holding hands, the spontaneous sexy little dances you want to do in the kitchen with him while baking brownies or something, all of it. All of it.

And here's what I wanted to tell you: nothing helped until I got married. Nothing.

I am telling you this because I know about myself that I would just want to face the truth head-on instead of wallowing in quasi-religious platitudes about how "getting active" and "channeling it" would make it easier. It didn't for me. I mean, you probably already know this, but you've got to have a life, you know what I mean? You have to keep busy and keep happy with whatever your thing happens to be.

But the sexual need thing? No dice. It just stinks. It is such an extraordinary nisayon.

And the good news is that the night you get married, G-d willing to a loving man, it will just plain go away. Poof. Like waking up from a nightmare. All the philosophising will just crumble back in to the dust it came from.

It's simple: you are doing what G-d commanded you to do. It is extremely painful. That's the way it is.

You are an extraordinary Jew and woman for bearing this weight. May G-d reward you beyond your wildest, sweetest dreams. There is more than this world.

There are also other nisyonos in this vein, agunas, homosexuals, victims enmeshed in the psychological torture of past or current sexual abuse. You're not alone in facing the frustration beyond words, the yearning beyond words, the spiritual knowing that runs just as deep as the knowing in your body. You are extraordinary.

I'll check the comments and if I can be of any support whatsoever, please write that you would like my e-mail and I will leave it for you in a future comment.

Another note -- sexual fulfilment is very deep after being saturated with such profound longing. The pleasure and joy is unimaginably deeper than it would be otherwise once you are finally married. I, too, fell from my S.N. commitments sometimes (not all the way, but still...) and those memories cause me such pain today because I wish I only had memories of my husband. Please believe me when I say that it is not worth it. Please. It's the morning after your wedding night when you wake up and realize that for the rest of your life, you have all your sexual dreams on a silver platter and you just feel like such a total idiot for blowing the exquisite purity and joy of your husband being the only one for something so, so transient... I can't make you feel it, but please believe me that it is just so not worth it.

Another note: don't make out with anyone. If they are worthy of your trust, make a cheap wedding in a month and get in to bed with your husband with His blessing.

Again, my deepest respects.


With Love,

A Sister

10/18/2008 03:37:00 PM  
Blogger NBKat 38 said...

Hang in there! I certainly am! I'm 38 and haven't been kissed either

http://neverbeenkissed38.blogspot.com/

11/18/2008 11:45:00 AM  
Anonymous A. Zeevy said...

Keep blogging away, we are here with you.
Cheers!

3/18/2009 09:37:00 AM  
Blogger Michael said...

You may want to consider also trying dating divorced men. Specifically a divorced man who divorced mainly because of his wife having problems would be a good idea to date. You may as well expand your possibilities.

Hope everything works out well for you and that you find someone soon. And, enjoy your time in Israel!

7/27/2009 10:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you try OkCupid? Did you try State College, PA?

1/13/2011 11:02:00 AM  
Blogger FB77 said...

Ha ha ha, it's ironic that you feel lonely in a land of many lonely people. Maybe, you could team up with other lonely people and see if things work out. Or you can choose the nest best alternative and be content with online company for companionship and solo stuff for the frustration, until you get a husband.

A word of advice: marriage is not the cure for loneliness, or sex. Its not like you will have solutions to these problems on a tap.

If you wish to be just online friends, do write: faithbond777@gmail.com

Bye and God be with you.

FB777

11/12/2011 03:49:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bless you for your faithfulness to Hashem. I hope you find happiness beyond your imagining whatever path you take. Having lived a set apart life and marrying very late an old virgin, I know that my life is more stable and happy and respectful to others' states in life than if I had not lived this way. I think it is impossible to compare one"s experience with holy living with those who don't have "boundary issues". Our joys, struggles heartaches are just different. To rejoice or sorrow for love of G'd is worlds away from rejoicing or sorrowing for love of self.
I believe that your living a set apart life has been great testimony to the power of G'd. No one would or could live His way without power and love sustaining her.

4/15/2012 05:26:00 PM  

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