In so many ways my life is better than it has ever been. Professionally I am in a good place with employers who value my work and are willing to hold my job for me while I go to Israel for a year. I am going to Israel for a year which is wonderful. Thanks to all the work I did on myself when I was depressed I know myself better and have more patience with myself. I have a wonderful family and good friends. My life is very rich.
But I feel like my life is like a doughnut. It is rich and good and has many good things, but still there is a hole in the middle where a good man and a good relationship are supposed to be.